Schizophrenia, feeling low

Hi there, this is a second post about schizophrenia and feeling low...

I have many existential questions.  Who am I really? what do I like/enjoy doing? What is the future going to hold?  Are my goals achievable? Do I have to set new goals? Do I work hard enough?  ...  Should I be content with how things are now?...  I guess the answer to that last question is yes.  I get feelings of underachieving and paranoia (or at least thoughts) of people judging me.  

All these negative feelings and questions contribute to my emotional state of mind.  I guess in general I should be happy with how things are now, and embrace the good moments.  However I find myself being stuck in life... i used to achieve things more easily and fast.  The standard was set higher allways higher, perhaps so high it led to my breakdown, i'm not sure.  Now I should find a healthy balance between what is currently achievable and desireable.

What is achievable is found by a trial and error approach...  In trying to keep the disappointment of errors to a minimum. What is achievable is defined by what I am currently doing and by adding small steps forward.  What is desireable, I like to believe, for me is the easy part.  I tell myself that I am happy with how things are now, but... I take into account other peoples desires (for example my parents), who aren't happy with the status quo.  So basically this means I am happy with working in the laundry... a small step forward for me would be to work a little less and start seeing my psychologist again.  But working less is seen as a setback by my family and friends.  It's also a financial setback.

Living with schizophrenia is living with a disability, and in my case, a disability that is not spoken about.  At work or at home or with friends...  I need to be strong.  Therapy has definately a place in my life, I just need to convince my parents.